3rd April 2023
If you have been reading me for some time, you would have noticed, I pose a lot of questions. Also, I take special care to never provide any answers.
The reason I abstain from providing answers is simple - I encourage my readers to seek "Possibilities".
In the last episode, I promised a conversation about the Art of asking a True Question. If you are new here, and you would like to catchup, you can go here to read the previous episodes.
Let's dive in...
Why do we generally ask a question? To seek information, awareness, clarify doubts or to simply ask for consent - Yes/No.
When you are asking a question, can you sense how you are?
If I asked you to describe this "sense", you would most probably come up with words like, Curiosity, Child-like wonder, Excitement, Exploring the unknown etc.
Unfortunately, most of the time, when you ask questions, what gets thrown at you as a response, are preconceived notions, judgements, projections, expectations and conclusions bred from years of so-called experience and wisdom. These are "answers" that are supposed to provide you clarity but instead, what they do is, encourage you to take the beaten path.
If you notice, as opposed to the sense of asking a Question, these answers have a tone of Finality.
Answers douse all curiosity, they extinguish all excitement, they feel like a full-stop at the end of a sentence.
In some cases, you will find someone who will ask you more questions in response to your question. They will refuse to give you answers. Instead, they will challenge you and push you. They don't conclude what will work for you, they don't give you an answer, they enable you to seek your knowing and empower you to make a choice of your own. That, my friends, is called opening up "Possibilities"
A true question invites infinite possibilities to choose from.
An answer slams all doors shut and concludes what will work for you.
An answer says - this is what it is. This is the truth. Be limited by it, follow it.
Now, the challenge is,
How do we ask True Questions to stay in the space of "Possibilities" instead of gravitating towards the limitations that "Answers" provide?
Let me give you some examples...
"What is wrong with me / him / her?" is not really a question. You have already concluded that something is wrong. The question is just seeking validation.
"Why isn't this working?" is again a question that tries to probe why something that you have concluded should work isn't working.
"How can I buy this particular property?" ... Huge conclusion; this is the property that works for me, nothing else will do.
"How will my employer pay me more money by May 2023?" ... here there are two conclusions at play - the money has to arrive by the fixed timeline and also it has to come from the employer.
Instead of these if you asked...
"What else is possible here that I have never considered before?"
"What can I change here to get the outsome that will work for me?"
"What various properties are available for me to buy, that will contribute to me financially and add joy to my life?"
"What can I be and do different to add money to my life in faster and easier way than I can imagine?"
You will notice that in these questions, there are no conclusions. It is an invitation to possibilities, without any conclusion or requirement of validation.
It's like an exercise of Brainstorming where we encourage people to express everything that comes to their mind instead of trying to fit their thoughts into a pre-defined box.
To ask a true question,
Take off your blinkers and allow all the dimensions of life to provide you new information, knowledge and awareness that will work for you and create greater outcomes.
Let go of all your conclusions, rules, limitations and everything you have defined as "impossible", "impractical" or "non-realistic"
Stop being invested in the results as if your life depended on it - what you think is the best result is an outcome of the limited information provided by your brain or someone else's brain/s.
Be willing to experiment beyond your comfort zone - The worst thing that can happen is you will realize the choice you made won't work for you. The best thing is, you can always make another choice.
Asking a True Question is a subtle art. I won't promise that this will be easy.
What I can guarantee is,
The more you practice, the more you get the hang of it;
The more you get a hang of it, the more you will enjoy the freedom that comes with it;
The more you enjoy the freedom, the happier and stress-free you get!
I will see you next week, with another episode of the Happiness Blog. Till then, keep playing with True Questions and have lots of fun!
With Happiness
Tina Chakrabarti